Ashes
by Baby Darth Dalloway
Summary: Emily's thoughts at the end of 4x01 when Victoria returns. I know they aren't canon, but I've femslashed this pairing up people. What goes on in the dark and twisty brain of Emily Thorne as the woman she locked away ends up on her front steps? There's much more to it than we could ever hope to know. One-shot and first stab at VEMILY. Don't read if you're not about that life.;)


Ashes

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><p>Title from the song of the same name from Madi Diaz's new album. This has femslash, sorry if you're not into that! Look away now. ;)<p>

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><p>"Maybe I don't want to…"<p>

The doorbell bellows throughout the house as I speak with Nolan, and while I'm glad to exit this all too emotional exchange, I'm not in the mood to deal with whatever trivial matter that's come to my doorstep this evening.

"Let me call you back," I say exasperatedly, ending our call and making my way over to the blood red door that acts as my front entrance. I climb the few steps and reach out to cover the handle, curious as to who could possibly be here, opening the door to whatever stranger decided to stop by tonight.

If only those deep brown eyes did belong to a stranger, perhaps I would be reassured I would sleep tonight. Her lips are dazzled in a bright ruby red, her mouth quirked in it's typical smirk dripping with ill intent, and only for second do I look shocked and lose my composure, stunned that she's before me yet still deeply pulled in by her.

"Ooh, you didn't invite me to your party," she begins, pretending to be surprised by the hustle behind me.

I smirk at her nonchalance, this woman's magnificence never ceasing to amaze me. I should have known she'd get out sooner rather than later, and my blood pumps adrenaline vigorously, excited by her presence, knowing our game will only continue from here on out. Is it sickening, that I'm happy she's here?

"How did you get out, Victoria?" I reply smoothly, full of confidence, not giving away how in awe I am of her.

"With a little help from my friends," she replies, practically full of joy. My eyebrow quirks up in response, both of us knowing just how easily she uses and abuses her so-called 'friends.'

"Nothing bonds people like being imprisoned together, something I know you're familiar with given your time in juvie," she continues with a smile. I can only smirk back, and I know that while we have such a deep seeded animosity towards one another, deep down, we're ecstatic to be in one another's presence. No one lights a fire under me like her, and visa versa. We're the fire that keeps each other's passions alight.

"Am I right, Amanda?" she finishes, full of her usual fake smile, and we stare off, knowing exactly what each other is thinking. Our game is far from over.

I smirk again, loving that for once, it's myself who has the upper hand as opposed to her.

"What do you want?" I ask, surprised she would make herself so vulnerable by making this her first stop.

"Arriving here tonight… I think I know how you must have felt when you first returned to the Hamptons," she begins and my smile widens, my condescension towards her furthering, both of us in a standoff that neither one of us would ever willingly back down from.

"So much hatred in your heart for me and what you'd thought I'd done-"

"What you did," I interrupt confidently, refusing to believe what she was beginning to say or what she would say soon after.

"If you'd only come clean then, you could have known the truth. You could have reunited with you sister, and prevented her _so_ much pain."

She knows that Charlotte means everything to me, as she does her, and my face frowns, acknowledging the sacrifice I had to make in order to accomplish what I had set out to. She'll twist whatever knives she can just to see me squirm.

"But instead… you chose _revenge_."

The word has such an ugly tone to it, the way she breathes it out, almost mockingly. It's as if she knows my anger, my rage, my passion, so intimately, and perhaps that's why I've known her so intimately too. Her and I? We live by our passions, by our drive. We will do whatever it takes to succeed, to win, to come out on top. And that is, above all else, why I admire this woman before me. She is who I hate and so desperately wish to defeat. She is my adversary. She's my love. And I wish, above all else, that I felt none of this for her in my heart.

"Now it's my turn," she whispers so confidently. I can't help but smirk at her.

Of course it's her turn. To think my life would end so easily, that she would be extricated from it, was a vacation from reality. We're bound together, our mentalities, our intensity, both formidable. I have never found in another person what I have found in her, and as much as I hate her, for all that she's done to me, I love her. Of everyone I have known or will ever know, she is the only one who understands me. If only it could be anyone but her.

"Then welcome back," I reply softly, challengingly, my smile not one to falter at this point. I shut the door on her smiling face, and turn back. I feel a smile on my lips at her return. I turn to look out the window briefly, her womanly form sauntering away in the fitted black dress she had somehow mustered. The things I want to do to her while she wears that dress….

I lean back against the doorway, taking a deep breath as I sink to the floor. All I wanted was Victoria destroyed, my life rebuilt, my father honored, my happiness regained… and as she walks away from me, I fear the worst fate of all. My solace is within her dark and twisted heart, because who better than her to care for my own twisted version? Who better than her to help me walk through the trenches of my soul? I hate that she's the only one I think about, breathe about. She's my everything, my anger, my pain, my compassion, my love. She's my life, and I wonder if this love will kill me, if I could ever be happy with her.

I know not.

I stand from the floor, rub down the creases in my dress, and head towards the stairs. No matter how much I love her, no matter how much I admire her, our destinies were always meant to combat one another's.

Now there's only one question left. What will our futures bring?

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><p>Hey Everyone! This is my first shot at Vemily. The truth of the matter is that I had a recent entanglement with someone who is, well, a LOT older than me. While I normally write Emison fanfiction that's far more lovey-dovey, I've needed a break with my real life drama impacting my writing overall mood.

This was a cathartic piece, I hope you enjoyed this ramble of a one-shot if you made it this far! To any Emisonians who stumbled into this, sorry it's not my usual work! I DO plan to update soon, but as you can see, I need to get some dark and twisty feelings/ writing out of the way first! :D Thanks Everyone!


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